“Living life the way you want to.”  Everything else is unimportant when compared to this definition.

Most people, when asked what it is they want from life, will come up with a zillion things, but they’re mostly what we all want and what we hear everyday.

“I want to spend time with the family and kids.” “I want to go on a long holiday.” “I want to buy a home.”

And yet, even the most successful people, who have had their wishes fulfilled – are NOT spending more time with their kids, they’re not able to go on long holidays with their family.

Why does this happen?

Because most people don’t want these things! Now, before you say anything, let me go ahead and explain this to you.

Benefits Of Not Getting What You Want

Wants lead to frustration, despair and failure.  Desire is something different, A want says, “I wish I could have this.” A desire says, “I will find a way to have this, no matter what.” ~ Robert Middleton via actionplan.com

When someone says, they want to spend more time with their kids, what do you think they really have in their mind?

They have in mind – the BENEFITS of their want.  And they haven’t achieved success in getting what they want because they haven’t really been successful in going after all the benefits in the first place.

If you’ve read the book, “The Motivated Mind” by Jason Garcia, you will understand what I’m saying here.

He uses the analogy of a set of scales, with one side holding the weight of all the success that can result from doing something, and the other side with the results of not doing it.

But you don’t have to be disheartened if you haven’t achieved success. Not getting what you want can also be beneficial, because you have the chance to turn things around in your favor. Isn’t this better than going around in circles, not sure where you’re going to land?

Learning The Skill Of Getting Motivated To Achieve Success 

When your motivation starts to slip, you need to address it immediately. It’s telling you something is wrong with the way you’re thinking about your work. ~ Steve Errey Via copyblogger.com

Getting motivated and taking action is a skill that can be learned, just as you learn how to drive a car.  You can get the basics down pretty quickly.  While driving takes time to be really perfect, this doesn’t.

How do you go about achieving this seemingly daunting task?

If you’re not sure of the direction you’re going, just put the car in neutral and sit there, instead of wasting fuel.

There are two things you can do now. Go forward or reverse.

If you’re saying you want something, but the weight of your desires is pulling you away from that, put your car in reverse and pull away from that thing, even if you think you want it.

But if you’re desires are much stronger than thoughts making you want to avoid it, then you’ll start driving the car forward.

The speed at which you move will be based on the intensity of your desire and the difference between the two sides, not wanting and wanting.

The reason why people keep going in circles is because they’re not sure if they should actually be going forward or reverse. So, it’s crucial that you understand where you want your car to go and at what speed.

Change The Equation 

First, question whether or not this thing really needs to be done.

What are the consequences of not doing it? Can you live with the consequences? Is there any way to not do this thing?  ~ Corbett Barr Via thinktraffic.net

You can also change the equation by making the forces on one side stronger.  You want to make the positive emotional associations of your options stronger. Consider the negatives (pain) that can be yours if you continue doing what you have been.

For example, if on one side you have your girlfriend and on the other you have your friends. You have to lose one to enjoy the other. What would you do? Which one will mean success for you?

Think of everything, being honest about what you really want and what you really enjoy.  If leaving your friends is painful and you can imagine surviving without your girlfriend, you know the route to take.

• You fear losing your secure job.
• You hate going into something you’re not sure about.
• You’re scared of making the wrong decisions.
• You’ve no idea how or what products to create and sell.
• You worry that you may face financial problems if you don’t succeed within a certain period of time.
• You’ve tried your hand at online marketing before, but didn’t succeed.

Go Ahead

All you have to do is make lists of the good things that’ll happen if you achieve your goal of a successful online business.  Make a list of the bad or unpleasant things that will vanish when you actually succeed.

Visualize them as strongly as possible, with the maximum impact – try to actually see them with your mind’s eyes.

Now make a list of the pain you might avoid and the happy things that’ll remain with you, if you don’t create a business online. See if you can eliminate all the pain and unpleasantness associated with an online business.  See if they can become unimportant.

After doing this exercise with all the sincerity possible, if your balance tips in the direction of “take action,” you go ahead.

You’ll soon find that with a very strong desire to succeed, all the minor discouragements don’t matter.  Once you see success, you’ll gain in confidence. Once you gain more success, then your positivity will only get stronger and stronger.

All the negativity you may be feeling today will vanish into thin air.

So what are you feeling right now? Is there a specific direction you’re being pulled in? If so, that might well be the path that will lead you to your personal success.